Parenting is hard. There are few truer statements under the sky. Once we boil down all of our little quirks as parents 3 types of parenting styles appear.
Like anything in life parenting requires intentionality. Choosing a parenting style can sometimes be more stressful than actually parenting the child at times.
As parents we have a big responsibility. We are responsible for equipping a future human being for the next 70+ years of life.
I’ll give you a second to take a deep breath. Breathe in, now breathe out.
Are you kidding me! We get to help mold and shape this future human and there is no handbook, no how to wiki on this stuff worth mentioning. When you leave the hospital with your kid no one stops you!
It’s the craziest thing that sarcasm can concoct.
Joking aside it’s a big thing that you’ve been handed. How do we do our best so that we can DO our best.
What are the main parenting styles?
The three big parenting styles are authoritative, authoritarian and permissive.
Authoritative parents are firm, loving and kind. They set boundaries and expect their children to abide by them. Neither overly strict nor overly indulgent, authoritative parents strike a good balance between expectations that are too high and expectations that are too low.
Authoritarian parents are strict, unbending and inflexible. They may attempt to control every aspect of their child’s life, and do not allow the child to make choices. Authoritarian parents expect obedience without questioning.
Permissive parents are indulgent, not wanting to impose their will on their child’s developing personality. They often set no rules and have no consequences. They might cause their child to avoid even natural or logical consequences in order to save him from perceived harm, unhappiness or hurt feelings.
There are many subsets within each of these parenting styles but in general most parents fall into one of these. I personally fall into the authoritarian category even though I am trying to make the transition to authoritative.
If you’re interested in learning more I’d encourage you to dig into each style and see what appeals to you most. You’re not locking into a fixed parenting style but in my opinion it will be easier if you have something in ready to go for when the little one gets here.
If you’d like to learn more about parenting feel free to click here for the Top 20 Parenting Materials
Be consistent with a parenting style
Your little one is looking to you for how to act and what to be.
You are the first and most intimate role model that your child will have. The biggest thing in their life during the most formative time in their life is you.
You are the first and most intimate role model that your child will have. The biggest influencer in their tiny life during the most formative time in their life is you. Soak that in for a hot minute.
Consistency is the key in this game. You can modify your style as you go but try not to pivot on a dime. Real talk, I did that with disastrous results.
Try to make your adjustments as smooth as possible. Remember that your little one is playing catch up to the new rules and expectations that your setting for them.
They want to play the game so let them learn how to play it before you start putting them in the penalty box.
Dont be afraid to adjust but know that the longer you’re in a chosen style the more effort it will take to pivot.
At the end of the day you’ll choose the parenting style that is right for you.
No one knows what they are doing
Here’s the earnest truth about parenting. We’re all making it up as we go along. There is no one size fit all guaranteed method to raising your child. You’re going to be up late and you’re going to be tired. In those moments you’ll find a strength in you that perhaps you didn’t feel you had.
We measure what we treasure.
You’ll love your little one so much that eventually you won’t measure of how little sleep you’re getting. You’ll measure how many belly laughs they’ve had. Sooner than you think you’ll measure how many cute faces they make at 2 in the morning. Your treasure will shift and your parenting style will shift with it.
I hope this was helpful and if you would like to hear from me more please feel free to subscribe to the newsletter for posts direct to you.
I wish you the best of luck as you become a parent.